It *Is* Different When It's Your Own

As I washed the tedious pieces and parts of Karalyn's Dr. Brown bottles for the zillionth time, I found myself dazedly thinking about the irony about it all. Who would've thought that I would ever have a child. Beyond that, who would've thought that I'd become such a domesticated person - washing milk bottles, changing diapers, talking nonsense in a sing songy falsetto, spending endless hours cuddling a squirmy, crying infant to help her sleep. All for what??

A single toothless smile.

Karalyn is 3 months and a week old today. She has tentatively begun smiling, a slow, shy but sly grin like she doesn't quite know what her mouth is doing or why but she can't help it.

And then she says, "Ohwah, ahwah, ohhhwah" with a sheepish look on face. Who knows what that means. I've been interpreting it as "I know exactly what you've been saying to me and it sounds ridiculous but I couldn't tell you until now." Or sometimes I think she's trying to tell me a joke, like "why did the chicken cross the road?"

It's been over a month since I last wrote and I am happy to report that the worst of the colic seems to be over, whew. Either that or I've gotten much better at managing the crying. Karalyn is awake for longer periods of time now and she is finally interested in her toys mainly the swing, mobile and gymini. They all provide blissful periods of calm learning throughout the day. She is also an avid hiker and loves being in the baby pack on walks. The longest we've been out hiking is 2 hours around Jenkinson Lake at Sly Park in Pollock Pines. I learned that timing around feedings is key. This led to learning how to breastfeed while hiking. Tricky, but it can be done discreetly.

The latest development is that Karalyn needs to fall asleep on her own. This has been a sticking point with me ever since she was born but she's never been able to manage it until now. She can fall asleep after a certain amount of fussing when she's in her swing or baby seat, but not so well in her crib. She needs to learn this skill before she goes to daycare or she will drive her caregivers nuts and be kicked out.

Speaking of daycare, Karalyn starts in October. I am returning to work in early September, but my parents will be back to care for her in the interim. The Company I Work For has been extremely accomodating. I will probably go back in a part-time capacity for a little while, maybe through the end of the year. We'll see.

In the meantime, it's been interesting sampling the life of a SAHM. It's a lot of work and kind of boring. I don't think I'm cut out for this full-time because I just don't have that SAHM mindset, but it's been eye-opening all the same.