The Worrying Never Ends
Paranoia is a hallmark of pregnancy, especially for first-timers. If you are a laid back person by nature, get ready to change. Pregnant women are bombarded by well-meaning advice from books, doctors, friends, family and complete strangers. In short everyone will be telling you what you should, should not, can and cannot do.
The result of all this advice on the pregnant woman is worry. Anxiety. If it becomes extreme, paranoia. You will worry about anything and everything:
Everything.
My way of handling this is to be very particular about what I read, who I ask for information and when I need to know. That doesn't prevent people from providing unsolicited advice but I don't usually take them seriously unless they violently conflict with something I have already taken to heart.
If you don't find a way to filter your information you will get stuck in a vicious cycle of questioning everything you hear.
Know this: for every piece of advice there will be opposite views. Pick the advice that you are the most comfortable with, whatever criteria you use to determine that...your doctor, general consensus, your own personal health concerns, how it fits into your lifestyle. For example - I really resent the high and mighty attitudes about drinking during pregnancy. I try to be smart and choose the occasions when I have a glass of wine (and no more), but I do not think women have to sacrifice every enjoyment in order to have a baby. If you want to, fine. Otherwise pick and choose carefully.
There, now *I* am dispensing advice! I suppose it just comes with the territory.
The result of all this advice on the pregnant woman is worry. Anxiety. If it becomes extreme, paranoia. You will worry about anything and everything:
- the alcoholic drinks you consumed before you knew you were pregnant
- the aspirin you took for a headache
- sex
- throwing up/morning sickness will hurt the baby
- if travelling is OK
- what you eat or not eat
- your weight gain
- what your partner is going through
- if you will be a good parent and raise a decent human being
- having enough money to afford a child
Everything.
My way of handling this is to be very particular about what I read, who I ask for information and when I need to know. That doesn't prevent people from providing unsolicited advice but I don't usually take them seriously unless they violently conflict with something I have already taken to heart.
If you don't find a way to filter your information you will get stuck in a vicious cycle of questioning everything you hear.
Know this: for every piece of advice there will be opposite views. Pick the advice that you are the most comfortable with, whatever criteria you use to determine that...your doctor, general consensus, your own personal health concerns, how it fits into your lifestyle. For example - I really resent the high and mighty attitudes about drinking during pregnancy. I try to be smart and choose the occasions when I have a glass of wine (and no more), but I do not think women have to sacrifice every enjoyment in order to have a baby. If you want to, fine. Otherwise pick and choose carefully.
There, now *I* am dispensing advice! I suppose it just comes with the territory.
posted by Lynette at 1/24/2006 04:33:00 PM
4 Comments:
agreed!!! i'm not even pregnant yet, but people are already telling me (if i am) what i ought and ought not do, and to get this product and to buy that book and blah blah blah. you'd think that over the centuries, mothers have gone through childbearing without all these things and they were just fine. ;)
Your advice was great! As with many things, people should choose what is right for them.
It always amazed me how my being pregnant seemed to be a signal to strangers that they could invade my personal space and hand out all kinds of advice! You've got the right attitude, it's all about balance and common sense!
I always feel a bit sorry for a pregnant woman, because I know how bombarded they are with advice. It's amazing how many therapists, experts, professionals, etc. there on all of the sudden once your pregnant.
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