How It Began
I had been considering having a child ever since my friend Kathleen told me about the old eggs.
You see, when a girl baby is born she already has millions of eggs in her ovaries. As the girl becomes older, the number of viable eggs decreases every year. After age 35, however, there is a signifant drop...literally only thousands of usable eggs. The rest are aged, not any good.
So here I was at age 35 trying to decide what to do. Kathleen scared me into thinking about it. I hadn't really considered it before because I never thought I would want a child. My biological clock wasn't ticking but I was beginning to feel a bit like Peter Pan, like I would never grow up and be mature. Like I would miss out on a great big mystery.
I really fretted. Finally in 2004 I began hinting of it to Karl, began weaning myself of bad habits like popping Sudafed every time I felt stuffy, and planning. Not a baby, not yet. No, my sabbatical. I wanted to do that child-free.
Beginning in January of 2005 I went off birth control. I had informed Karl of all of this in plenty of time, by the way. He was in denial but nodded his head anyway. The plan was simple: act normal. We weren't trying by any means. If it happened, then great. If not, well, I would surrender my body to the ravages of menopause by age 40.
It was strange. I didn't expect it to happen right away but at the same time I was expectant that something would happen shortly. When I would get my period there was a simultaneous sense of disappointment and relief. I may have even had a miscarriage in late spring but I never confirmed it.
By the end of August, I was concerned despite my nonchalant facade. I even bought an ovulation kit to use the next month. But in September Karl went to Japan for a week and then 2 days after he returned I went to Arizona for a week. I never used the ovulation kit because, well, we just weren't home together.
On the weekends we took a long hiking trip to Ashland, then ran 7.5 miles in the Bridge-to-Bridge in early October. By then I became suspicious. I was feeling good and that was wrong. I was missing something - my period. I waited another week after the race and then took a home pregnancy test. There was just the faintest second pink stripe. I took another one. Same result. That night I bought a test that would digitally tell me "pregnant" or "not pregnant" and the next morning I used it.
"Pregnant".
I showed the stick to Karl and he said, "No way. It's wrong."
Then we promptly packed up our bags in the new truck and drove to Yosemite for a weekend of camping and 18 miles of hiking.
When we got home, I tried the second digital test. Same result. How wrong can all of them be? So I went to the doctor and got the indisputable result.
And the rest will be chronicled in the next few posts.
You see, when a girl baby is born she already has millions of eggs in her ovaries. As the girl becomes older, the number of viable eggs decreases every year. After age 35, however, there is a signifant drop...literally only thousands of usable eggs. The rest are aged, not any good.
So here I was at age 35 trying to decide what to do. Kathleen scared me into thinking about it. I hadn't really considered it before because I never thought I would want a child. My biological clock wasn't ticking but I was beginning to feel a bit like Peter Pan, like I would never grow up and be mature. Like I would miss out on a great big mystery.
I really fretted. Finally in 2004 I began hinting of it to Karl, began weaning myself of bad habits like popping Sudafed every time I felt stuffy, and planning. Not a baby, not yet. No, my sabbatical. I wanted to do that child-free.
Beginning in January of 2005 I went off birth control. I had informed Karl of all of this in plenty of time, by the way. He was in denial but nodded his head anyway. The plan was simple: act normal. We weren't trying by any means. If it happened, then great. If not, well, I would surrender my body to the ravages of menopause by age 40.
It was strange. I didn't expect it to happen right away but at the same time I was expectant that something would happen shortly. When I would get my period there was a simultaneous sense of disappointment and relief. I may have even had a miscarriage in late spring but I never confirmed it.
By the end of August, I was concerned despite my nonchalant facade. I even bought an ovulation kit to use the next month. But in September Karl went to Japan for a week and then 2 days after he returned I went to Arizona for a week. I never used the ovulation kit because, well, we just weren't home together.
On the weekends we took a long hiking trip to Ashland, then ran 7.5 miles in the Bridge-to-Bridge in early October. By then I became suspicious. I was feeling good and that was wrong. I was missing something - my period. I waited another week after the race and then took a home pregnancy test. There was just the faintest second pink stripe. I took another one. Same result. That night I bought a test that would digitally tell me "pregnant" or "not pregnant" and the next morning I used it.
"Pregnant".
I showed the stick to Karl and he said, "No way. It's wrong."
Then we promptly packed up our bags in the new truck and drove to Yosemite for a weekend of camping and 18 miles of hiking.
When we got home, I tried the second digital test. Same result. How wrong can all of them be? So I went to the doctor and got the indisputable result.
And the rest will be chronicled in the next few posts.
posted by Lynette at 1/12/2006 02:39:00 PM
2 Comments:
No, no, no, don't tell me about aging eggs, I turn 33 in March. We just won't think about that now.
Actually I did know that about the eggs, but I hadn't heard the 35 thing.
4 pregnancy tests, yeah I doubt 4 coud be wrong.
It's certainly harder as you get older, but I'm here to tell you, it still happens (of course) :)
I'm 42 years old and going into week 41. It was a surprise, but a good one!
Rebecca
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